These photos were taken from a River Boat on the Seine River. Gorgeous! And oh sooooo romantic!
France is even more lovely and charming than the pictures I have seen all my life. It is absolutely breathtaking. Each window dressed in cheery painted shutters. I love that it's real and not just staged photography. Does that make sense? I guess I was alittle afraid that I would get to France and all the beautiful photos that I had been seeing for years would have been "only photos", know what I mean? I was not disappointed by any stretch. France was even more beautiful than I ever dreamed it could be. Take a look for yourself. Yes, these are only photos, but, you can trust that what you are seeing is what I have seen with my very own eyes.
For the next few days or until I need to share something else with you, I will post photos of my trip to France. I hope you enjoy the trip!
Warmly,
Kim
This is my husband, Steve. So handsome isnt he? And this quaint little green door is in Vivier, France. My favorite of all the little towns along the Rhone River. So very charming...
Wow is right! This is a photo taken from the highest point in Vivier. We were standing in the courtyard of the church on the hilltop. Looking down onto the fields and quaint houses of Vivier. In the background you can see the Rhone River. Beautiful!
Vincent van Gogh? Probably not, but definately a wannabe!
Leaving Vivier....returning someday soon I hope! More later.
Wow, what a summer this has been! Hauling around and entertaining four young adults, preparing two of them for college-one for the dorm and one in his first apartment, preparing another for her debut in high school and my baby for eighth grade, building a lake house and organizing my new store which was supposed to open in May and still hasn't(can't imagine why not); all of this on top of planning a Graduation Party, a Family Reunion at our home and a trip to France! I was actually supposed to sell at Marburger this month but had to cancel because, believe it or not, I couldn't do anymore!!!
I am missing Marburger already as it opens next week and I will not be there selling my heart out. Oh, well, we can only do what we can do and at least I will be traveling to RoundTop with my dear friend Jill and we will most definitely be browsing the aisles of Marburger. It will probably be more of run as that is what it takes if you intend to find the good stuff before anyone else...I love that place!!!
Last weekend I was privileged to have attended the first ever Where Women Create Event. It was magical! 400 plus enormously creative and successful women all under one roof! You would have to be there to appreciate and even believe the energy that stirred the event. I was so impressed with the organization of the event. Jo Packham and Nancy Soriano did a knock out job! Seriously, the entire event was top notch from the delicious meals to the incredible talent upon each panel discussion to the amazingly talented artists who held the craft workshops. Oh, and how could I forget the enormous talent within the Handmade Market, OMG! It was fantastic! Then there was the Autograph party...WOW, it was like being in Hollywood! So many talented women all in one room...Debbie Dusenberry of Curious Sofa, the beautiful Amy Butler of Amy Butler Design, Leigh Standley of Curly Girl Designs, Laurie Lenfestey of Bittersweet Designs, Wendy Addison of Wendy Addison Studio, Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman! And there were so many more wonderfully successful women, I could go on and on. They signed autographs for hours while we all sipped gorgeous cocktails made especially for us and our very special evening. It was dreamy and dinner was divine! Those of you who enjoy being creative and being around those who live and breath creative success, this conference is for you! Next year, same time. Check out their website to stay in tune with the event. www.wherewomencreate.com You'll love the event and the site, pick up their magazine too! It's so very inspiring!
And then...two weeks in France. What can I say...really, there are few words to describe the beauty, the simplicity and casual elegance of France. My husband and I traveled from Nice, the Cote' d' Azur and better known to Americans as The French Riviera, to Arles, Vivier, Avignon, Macon, Lyon and a few more quaint little towns before we so delightfully ended our stay in Paris, the city of lights. The trip on the Rhone River via the MS Chardonnay was picturesque. Warm, sunny days spent inland in cozy, quaint little towns and cool nights relaxing on the upper deck watching the stars. The staff of the MS Chardonnay were the best and made us feel like royalty. The ship was stunningly beautiful and so very charming in it's small size with only twenty four cabins. The chef and his staff prepared the most delicious meals and we ate our weight in glorious french cuisine. Our last day on the ship came too soon and it was hard to say goodbye. Wonderful friendships were made and we will never forget the Rhone River.
France is truly as beautiful as the pictures I have seen all my life. I felt as if I were walking within a storybook. Each window adorned with window boxes, flowers overflowing. Freshly laundered clothing hanging ever so casually in the sun catching the warm breeze. Truly, picturesque.
Boulongeries and Patisseries on every corner...the smell of freshly baked bread filled the air and pastries sparkled in the many windows along the charming streets. And then there was the fish market...this smell too filled the air although I wasn't quite as fond of it. I couldn't get past the flies that swarmed the fish, but then, I am accustomed to a very different environment when I am buying fish. Then there were the olives, yum and the spices and ohhhh the lavender, my favorite. I think the scent of lavender will always be France to me. I know I must have purchased one of everything I stumbled across that smelled of lavender.
Paris...where to begin. I know why they save this part of the trip for last. It is the best, it is the cherry on top! The history before your eyes is unlike anything you have ever seen before. It is breathtaking. So many times I stood in awe of this most beautiful place and tears would fall down my cheeks.
One such place was Giverny. The home place of Claude Monet. If you haven't seen it, you wouldn't believe the beauty. I kept thinking how much my dear Grandmother, Modena Cary Ross, would have loved this place. To behold such beauty is a true gift and she would have been so honored by the beauty. The ponds, the gardens, the house, all created by Claude Monet's hands. I stood in awe of his work, his house, his world. The tears came without warning, the beauty was overwhelming.
Another such place was the Louvre. We spent five hours there and could have spent more if our legs would have carried us. Room after room of artwork by the Masters. Leonardo Divinci, Renoir, Degas, Van Gogh...to be inches away from such masterpieces like The Mona Lisa, really? Are we lucky enough to be that close to something so precious, so rare? I think it must have been a dream because moments like this are what dreams are made of. It was hard to leave the Louvre. It was hard to leave France. I felt so honored to have been there, so blessed to have been given the opportunity to walk on the streets and into buildings the Romans have built, to walk where Napoleon walked and reigned, to share space with great works of art by the Masters and to stroll in the Parks where Parisians stroll everyday surrounded by beauty the rest of the world can only imagine. I am looking forward to returning someday soon.
All in all, it's been a great summer and early fall. I find myself in a new place, one of honor and grandeur; of inspiration and creativity and an old familiar place of love and nurturing. I am peaceful and so very blessed.
Pictures of France will come later, time for bed. Night all.
Warmly,
Kim
After a VERY long month of getting four young adults ready for school; two going to college, one starting high school and one eighth grade, I am completely worn out. Add to that an unexpected trip out of town which involved air travel(which is always daunting) and you can imagine the sheer exhaustion I was feeling. Mentally, physically and emotionally I was baked.
Upon finishing my tasks for the evening which involved a last minute trip to Walmart for groceries and a new desk for my son, rounding up children from sport practices and preparing dinner, I knew I needed either ice cream(which I love but would involve a stomach ache)or a movie to bring me to a softer place. I chose the movie. Knowing full well that because of my last minute grasp for sanity, I would be going alone. I didn't even care. In fact, sitting alone in a dark theater with my phone off sounded like pure bliss. I hurried to the shower.
I knew exactly what I was going to see because I had been anticipating it's release for months. I would be going to see Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. A true story based on her life or should I say the search for her life. Julia Roberts had been cast as Elizabeth and as anyone who knows me can attest, I am a sucker for anything Julia Roberts or Meryl Streep for that matter.
For months I have been catching pieces of the movie review on television as I worked in my kitchen(my office and family center)on college registration tasks, high school entrance forms, medical releases and sports physicals all while cooking dinner and filling in my ever expanding calendar. Which, by the way, it so full that I do not have anymore room to write in ANYTHING else. In fact, even rescheduling something would be tough because it would require space of which there is none.
On that family calendar is a two week period this fall set aside for my husband and I. We are traveling to France where we will spend two weeks on a River Cruise Tour. I have never been so excited about anything. It is a dream come true. But....as my calendar of family events would reflect, there has been no time to spend on preparing for the trip. It is penciled in on my calendar, but that's it. Penciled in, well maybe it is in ink. But, nonetheless, I have done NOTHING else to prepare for it except to place it on the calendar. I dream of it often and know that I should be spending time in preparation, but, something else always takes priority. Some other deadline or activity to which I must attend. And that's ok, it is my life and I love it. I am the family manager and wouldn't trade what I do for anything. So prepared or not, I will travel with my husband, who is the love of my life, for two weeks to a place where I have always dreamed. And I will love every minute of it. So, faithful readers of mine, please feel free to share travel tips with me...quicklyl! lol
Anyway, with each review of Eat Pray Love I had grown more anxious for it's release. Partly because Julia Roberts plays the main character and partly because the story line seems to tug at my heart. I think most women can relate to it or have felt some part of what she is feeling. For weeks, I found myself thinking about the movie and wanting it to "hurry up" and open. I broke down and bought the audio book because I just couldn't wait any longer. I downloaded it on my IPOD Touch and took it with me on the airplane. The suspense was killing me. I could hardly wait until the airplane was in the air and I was permitted to use my audio device.
The hours of the plane ride melted away as I listened to Elizabeth give the details of her very complicated life. My heart ached for her. I could feel her pain and despair. I was disappointed to feel the plane begin to land. Sorry that the story would have to wait until my plane ride home.
Three days later, I boarded the airplane eager to dive into Elizabeth's life journey again. The story continued and I felt like I had become one of Elizabeth's friends.
Having now experienced both the book and the movie, I would highly recommend that you read or listen to the book first. The movie was great but the book is full of must have information that they leave out in the movie. I found that part a little disappointing. So much of the reasoning behind her actions is left out. Like the fact that she chose celibacy during her year of travel. The movie doesn't go there, in fact, it leads you to think it was a one time refusal of a very handsome guy when in fact she had many encounters and desires that she refused. All very important to her personal journey.
Anyway, I loved the movie! I thought Julia was as amazing as she always is and each character within the movie was equally as brilliant. My favorite part of her journey was Italy. What a beautiful, vibrant place. And oh the glorious food! Who wouldn't love to stay there for four months.
Her stay in India was cleansing and beautiful and her friendship with Richard was very endearing. I cried a few tears here. But will leave it at that.
Finally, Bali and the medicine man. So touching and full of life changing experiences. You will grow along with her as you experience her journey of finding balance in her life. Her experiences will warm your heart.
I overheard moviegoers say that it was "slow". I agree, it is a little "slow", but, the message is worth waiting for. And, I think the idea is to slow down...breathe. The pace of the movie encourages you to do so. So, just relax, put away the hurried expectations of this life we lead and take a couple of hours to sit quietly in the dark. Enjoy the movie or the audio book or both like I did!
Live in Joy,
Kim
For years, I have searched high and low for the perfect Mac & Cheese recipe. It has become an obsession. Seriously, I have tried hundreds of recipes and all have been really good but just not right. None of them are the One! I own hundreds of cookbooks and even more magazines all boasting of the "Perfect" Mac & Cheese. I get so excited with each new recipe that I can"t wait to try it. Hot out of the oven I dive in only to be disappointed with the result.
I am not even sure what I have been looking for or what's been missing from the recipes. All I know is that I just haven't found it. I have worn out family members by asking them to continually bring new versions of the dish to the latest family get-together. And every time, with every bite, I am disappointed. Not that the dishes are great, they are! It's just that something is missing. But what?
I have tried "Grown Up Mac & Cheese", "Four Cheese Mac & Cheese" and Martha Stewart's Mac & Cheese, each promising to be the perfect combination of ingredients. I must say that I still remember the "Grown Up Mac & Cheese". It was divine! Creamy Blue Cheese crumbles and some other delicious gourmet cheese. But still, it just didnt do it for me. I am exhausted with the search. I am becoming bitter about it to say the least. I am frustrated with myself for being so picky and frustrated with everyone else for not providing the version I desire.
While doing my grocery shopping last week in Target, I ran across Cooking Light's newest magazine "Cooking Light - Recipe Makeovers-New Twists on your Favorite Dishes". I bought it of course. Partly because I am always looking for new ways to cut calories and fat and prepare healthier meals for my family. But mostly because the cover boasted a gorgeous bowl of WHAT ELSE? Mac & Cheese!
Upon returning home and starting dinner, I logged into Facebook, my usual cooking companion, and checked the daily posts of friends. I ran across one from a dear sweet friend of mine from high school. She had posted a precious picture of her children and I was anxious to see more so I went to her page. I spent the remainder of my cooking time admiring the photos of her family. Then it hit me...MAC & CHEESE!
I felt this strange craving for Mac & Cheese. It was weird. But, as I looked through her family photos, memories of times spent with them throughout high school came rushing back. I spent countless hours at their house and specifically remember one very special night that her Mom had invited me and my family over for dinner to celebrate my birthday with their family. I was so honored by the invitation. I really couldnt believe it was all for me and I felt so special. The meal was wonderful. The time with their family was wonderful too. Her Mom made it even more special by showering me with gifts. I specfically remember a beautiful red satin blouse and jeans that were given to me in just the right size. I had never had anything so wonderful, so luxurious or so personal. But, the thing that I have remembered all these years, even more than the red satin blouse was what she served for dinner. Pot roast and the most wonderful Mac & Cheese I had ever had in my life!
Ahhh, now I get it. There will never be a Mac & Cheese that will measure up to those memories. Never. Because it's not about the Mac & Cheese at all. It's about the feelings that I have associated with Mac & Cheese and have tried to replicate all these years. Looking back, I can remember that her Mom's Mac & Cheese was served at just about every family dinner I attended. It was always there. And it was always my favorite. I knew I could count on it, just like I knew I could count on their family to be there for me and to make me feel special.
So, the search for the perfect Mac & Cheese has ended. I realize now that I wasnt really searching for Mac & Cheese. I have been searching for and holding onto the comfort and security it provided many years ago. I guess that security and comfort is why I have always felt that Mac & Cheese should be a part of family gatherings. Because to me...it symbolizes everything that family should be. I am forever grateful to her family and especially her Mom for taking me in and making me feel so special. It is because of her example that I love putting together extravagant birthday celebrations for my family where there is ALWAYS Mac & Cheese! I love that my children LOVE their birthdays! I LOVE that they feel special!
Thank you so much for the very special memories and for loving me like one of yours! Your hospitality and compassion will never be forgotten as it is forever etched in my heart and on the hearts of my children.
And now that I know why my soul craves Mac & Cheese, I also know that it is more about Love than anything and I can embrace it. Here's to Mac & Cheese and celebrating those that we love!
I remember thinking I knew it all when I was in high school. I thought I knew myself and everyone else better than they knew themselves. I remember thinking my parents were ridiculous. How could they be soooo dumb? I seriously remember thinking I was smarter than they were and why did I need parents, after all, I could take care of myself. I can laugh about this now and have many times in an effort to get through this time with my young adults.
I have taken on the role of the "dumb parent". My young adults look at my husband and I like we are so "out of touch". How could ANYTHING we have experienced as a teenager be remotely similar to what they are going through now? After all, that was back in the 80's! I feel like I have lost all control of my kids. But, the reality is that they are just spreading their wings and pushing us away in an effort to gain their own identity and independence.
I am continually getting the "OK Mom" and "Are you serious?" from one or the other of them as I try and relate to them. In their minds I am so "old school", so "lamo". My efforts to instruct and/or reprimand are interrupted by lengthy debates by which they intend to get their way. And, I have been known to fall victim to their very hypnotizing methods of persuasion. It's infuriating when you realize that they have pulled one over on you! Nonetheless, I press on in an otherwise successful mode of parenting.
Through the years, I have prayed the same prayer over and over in hope of keeping up with my kids. Much to my kids dismay and unfortunate capture, it works every time. I simply pray "Lord, let me see what I need to see". That's it. It is unbelievable how this simple prayer can make the lives of teenagers so transparent. A word of caution: This prayer will result in your "eyes wide open" and you will see what the Lord wants you to see whether you like it or not and whether you want to deal with it or not. The things that God wants you to see may be scary and always humbling, I can promise you that. A word to the wise: never say "not my kid" because as sure as you do...it is "your kid".
I am forever grateful to my precious Lord for the evidence he has placed in front of me over the years. I have felt God's gentle hand upon my cheek as he turns my head in the right direction. I dare to think of how the lives of my children may have been different had I not had the grace of another set of eyes. God is good and I feel so blessed.
Kids will be kids and they are going to get into things that they shouldn't. They managed to do it at two years of age and they will do it at 15, 17 and 19. As parents we have to put forth the extra effort to stay in step with our kids. I know, we're tired, we're old and they run at a much faster pace. That is why we must seek the help of an extra pair of eyes. God has a much better view from above. And all we have to do is ask!
Live in joy,
Kim
Wondering through the aisles of Walmart in search of "who knows what", I often find myself among the magazines. I guess I would have to say that this is my favorite place in Walmart. I tend to gravitate there. I LOVE their large selection of magazines and the wonderful variety of books they present. I can stand there for half an hour(ok, an hour and a half) perusing every cover of every magazine that catches my eye. I browse through each one and stop when something beautiful catches my eye or a title draws me in. Sometimes I stand there so long that I forget why I came into Walmart. LOL. I think that's the point.
Upon one of my recent visits to the magazine aisle, I ran across a title of an audio book that caught my eye. I was literally running by as I only had a few seconds to browse! The title of the book was Women Food and God and it had a pretty blue cover so I bought it. What the heck, the title was catchy and the cover was pretty. And...I have been a sucker for books on weight loss since I turned forty!
I left Walmart upon finding my other necessities and tossed the bag into the back of the car as I hurried on to my next task. The following day I noticed the bag in the back of the car and took out the audio book. Eager to listen to it, I put it in the cd player and was immediately entranced! The author began to talk about our relationship with food. She said "our relationship to food is an exact microcosm of our relationship to life itself". WHAT?
She went on to say that "we are walking, talking expressions of our deepest convictions; everything we believe about love, fear, transformation and God is revealed in how, when and what we eat." Seriously? Ok, I had to keep listening!
I thought about the times I had noticed that I was eating when I wasn't hungry or eating when I was anxious or angry. But, I never thought that it was anything more than just that. To think that everything I believed about love, fear, transformation and God could be revealed in how, when and what I was eating? She had me hook, line and sinker!
Since I turned forty, my weight had changed from a nice 125 lbs to a not so nice 150 lbs. Not that I am overweight by others standards, just my own. I have even been told that I have nothing to be complaining about as I am smaller than alot of Moms at my age, etc. etc. Ok, ok, probably true, but, nonetheless, I am miserable with myself and I am obsessed with dieting and finding the right way to lose the weight and look like I used to at thirty! It feels like a losing battle. Well, at least, a very frustrating battle as I have managed to lose inches and gain great muscle tone with my efforts in weight training but have only lost a few pounds and gradually gained them back as my eating patterns returned to my old habits. Coincidentally, I have also noticed that I am more anxious than I have ever been in my life. I am dealing with so many emotions on so many levels. Could it be as simple as my eating habits being directly related to my emotions? I'm listening...
The author says "If we are interested in finding out what we actually believe--not what we think, not what we say, but what our souls are convinced is the bottom-line truth about life and afterlife--we need look no further than the food on our plate". WOW. Can she be right?
I think she is. I know she is. The more I listened, the more I began to see that my eating habits were not about food at all. In fact, I noticed that the very times when I was overeating were the times that I was the most stressed, anxious, tired, frustrated, forgotten, unappreciated, disrespected. And there were many times that I could remember eating when I felt lonely or afraid. I would grab some popcorn or ice cream or both! And would feel better...at least for a few minutes until the reason I was afraid, stressed or anxious came rushing back. Then, I would go to the kitchen again in search of something else to take my mind off of whatever it was that I was trying to forget or subconsciously push away. The problem with this is that the fear or feeling of being unappreciated or whatever it is that is subconsciously haunting me still exits after the food is gone! I am still hungry...just not for food. Now, I am seeing an end to my weight problem.
I found it interesting that she believes as children we learn to close ourselves off to pain. We learn to separate ourselves from hurtful, scary, otherwise uncomfortable situations. We withdraw and build walls to protect ourselves. She believes that at some point in our lives we have turned to food for comfort in an effort to sooth and/or protect our souls. Transported back to my childhood, I totally get this.
As a child, I learned to suppress my feelings and fears in an effort to protect myself. I learned to block out what was uncomfortable and stressful. I learned that by being good I didn't create additional conflict. The very emotions that I learned to suppress, ignore and dismiss are the very reasons that I overeat today. As an adult, when I am anxious or afraid or alone, I reach for something that comforts me, like ice cream, rather than dealing with whatever it is that is making me feel this way. The solution to ending this vicious cycle is allowing myself to feel the anxiety rather than covering it up with ice cream. I can no longer run from my emotions. Gaining and consequently, losing too much weight via a restrictive eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia, are direct results of emotions that are out of control and/or pushed aside.
Upon finishing the series, I am convinced that this is book may just be the answer I have been looking for. Over the past few days, I have tried with much success to hit my emotions head on. To allow myself to feel my emotions rather than suppress them. To eliminate the voice of my childhood that harms me in an effort to protect and soothe my soul. I am a grown up now and I do not need to rely on Hostess Twinkies to deal with my emotions.
Now...I can eat Hostess Twinkies because I like Hostess Twinkies and will have them in place of dinner if I so choose. I eat when I am hungry to feed my body as God intended. I feed my soul with respect for my emotions and allow myself to feel when I need to feel, hide when I need to hide, cry when I need to cry and laugh when I feel joy. Most importantly, I do not apologize for any of it. Emotions are a gift and a gentle cleansing if we allow them to be so.
Look at your plate. What is really on it?
Women Food and God by Geneen Roth A truly amazing reality, go get yourself a copy!
What's the hardest thing about being a Mom? NOT being a Mom...letting go of control and decision making, allowing your half-grown children to get a Mohawk if they want, allowing them to stay out until four in the morning because they feel they can take care of themselves, resisting the temptation to slap their mouth when they backtalk out of frustration in their fight for independence and keeping your mouth shut when they make bad decisions so that you dont say "I told you so". Letting go is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I hate it. It goes against everything I have been doing for them for the past 18 plus years, it doesnt even feel right, it feels like I am a bad parent.
I keep reminding myself that this will pass and they will cling to all that we have taught them...that this "Phase" as everyone likes to call it, will end and they will be stronger because of it. Uugghhhhh....I cant take it anymore. How do you know when enough is enough? How do you know when to let go....
Probably when they start blaming you for all of their mistakes, probably when you are the reason they hate their life, probably when nothing you do is right in their eyes. But, I am pretty sure it's when your daughter says "GO AWAY" and your son comes home with a Mohawk and says "I got this for YOUR family reunion". It's time. It's their way of saying "I got this and I can do this on my own without your help, you are making me crazy!". It's time to walk away and let them do it...they are begging for the freedom which we have been preparing for them to have.
So why is it sooo hard to let them go...why am I so afraid? Why do I still feel the need to rush in when they MIGHT fall? Don't I trust in what I have been teaching them, havent I given them everything they need to be responsible adults?
Yes, I have given them everything that I have...physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually...they have gotten it all, there is no more to give.
I guess that explains the sheer exhaustion, the helplessness and the feeling that I have lost control. I am exhausted because I have nothing left to give. I feel helpless because I am not suppose to have any more answers, and I feel like I have no control because I am not supposed to have control right now, with God's help, they are. This is the way God intended it to be. It's God's way of telling me that there is nothing left for me to do. It is my time to rest and let them be who we have raised them to be.
Ok, Lord. I am handing you the baton. I have run my course and I have run a good race. I trust in myself as a Mom and what I have left on the field. I trust you in carrying them the rest of the way as you have carried us this far.
With tears streaming down my face, I let go of them and know that I have done what you have asked of me. I am here if they need me and I know that they will. I think I need a nap.
Oh the splendor of Junk Gypsy charm! What is it about this style that we all love so much? Besides loving pink...I would have to say it's about freedom, real freedom to dream and let go of our inhibitions, be creative and enjoy life; to step outside our comfort zone, think outside the box.
Most of us dream of doing something creative...someday bringing our dreams to reality. This daring Trio has done just that. In 1998, they stepped away from their 8-5 jobs and set out to find their creative souls. And I am so glad they did...I love their style, their happy, joyful spirits. The happiness they have found chasing their dreams shows in their work.
Amie, Janie and Jolie the Junk Gypsy Trio
Miranda Lambert is a huge fan and personal friend of the JG. This is her bus that the Trio designed. Awesome! Check out www.gypsyville.com for more pics of the Bus and more Junk Gypsy style!
Miranda Lambert in one of the Junk Gypsy T-shirts! Available on their website. Check out Kim Hoegger Home on facebook for more on the Junk Gypsies! Find your voice...take a chance!
Simply white...simply elegant, simply classic...need I say more?
Being 4o something is awesome. I love my life, I love my family and friends. Most days I love pretty much everything about what's going on. That is to say, everything except that my body has forgotten that it is supposed to be helping me out with this aging thing instead of throwing me under the bus! Everytime I turn around something else is falling or bulging or sagging! Seriously, it's a race against time!
Recently, I started working out again with my trainor, Lina. She is awesome and exactly what I need to get me to the gym. The fact that I pay her to assist me keeps me going because whether I show up or not, I still owe her for the session; nothing like the motivation of money. I used to think I couldnt afford to have a trainor, now I know I cant afford not to have one! My metabolism has gotten so out of balance that no matter what I eat or how much of it, I seem to gain weight somewhere. I eat less than I did in my thirties but gain weight faster.
A little over a year ago I was working out with Lina three times a week. I started with 1/2 hr sessions working up to hour long sessions and 6 miles of cardio a week. I was really doing well and the weight really began to fall off when I started the cardio training. The running was melting the fat, literally. It was like magic! In a little over a year, I had lost around 25 pounds and looked awesome if I do say so myself. I had eliminated all of the cellulite on the back of my legs and I was close to having those six pack abs! Seriously!
In June of last year I found myself in the ER with a couple kidney stones. It was an awful experience. The initial pain was worse than natural childbirth which I have done four times so I KNOW what I am talking about! Two surgeries later I was on the mend but it took me 6 months to feel like working out again. Needlesstosay, I gained back about 10 pounds of the 25 I had lost and I was so disappointed and angry too that my body couldnt maintain after all of that training and cardio. Why?
Metabolism, hormones....aging. I hate it. I will NEVER be one of those women who say they are embracing the aging process. Not me, not a chance, I intend to fight it every step of the way! When I look in the mirror I want to see ME, not some old woman 30 pounds overweight with wrinkles, bags and a muffin top! Uugghh! The reality is that it will be what it will be and I will at some point have to settle for old, just not now.
I am intriqued by Jillian Michael's book, Mastering Your Metabolism and I am sure I will be going to Walmart(best price) to retrive a copy very soon. I have heard alot of good things about it. Today, I picked up a copy of her cookbook of the same name. I love it so far! Great recipes and strategies and logical reasoning for eliminating foods that slow metabolism and adding those that speed it up. I am all for that and cant wait to get started.
The thing is, I know I can do it. But, it's the getting started that's the problem. Even though I am working out again I am still not there mentally. Today at the gym I felt myself glaring at Lina when she would ask me to do ten more reps...I had to remind myself that I was the one who had asked her to beat me up! When I complain, she says "you're welcome".
I will get there mentally and I will stop glaring at Lina. It will happen and when it does I will be back into my tankini and hanging the skirted swimsuit in the closet. I will let you know how the new books are working out, in the meantime, wish me luck and say a few prayers for me!
Just wanted to share that I am better now. I have moved beyond my self pity and found peace in the knowledge that God loves me more than I could ever comprehend. He loves me so much that he refuses to allow me to wander into places that I shouldnt go, refuses to allow me to have things that I simply do not need. I am forever greatful for his Grace.
Peace comes when I allow myself to release everything to him. Every fret, every hurt, every anxiety. I let him have it all. There is no peace like that. There is nothing that calms the soul like his gentle hand taking control of my life. And when I manage to climb back up the cliff(after I have thrown myself off!), I realize that he never let go of my hand; that he had me all along. I just thought I was by myself but I really never am. He carrys me. Amazing, truly Amazing Grace.
This is one of my favorite poems, written by Mary Stevensen, 1936,
Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
Mary Stevenson, 1936
Just wanted you to know that I am better today, better knowing that God is in control and that I am not. Off to run my errands!
Giallo Ornamental...that's a color name of a piece of granite that I am looking at for the lakehouse. It isnt my first choice as I thought I had to have a white marble called Calacatta Danby...oh my goodness it is gorgeous! Beautiful, clean white marble with breathtaking beige and chocolate marbling. I wanted it so badly that I havent been able to think of anything else. I based my entire design for the kitchen around it. I am so in love with that marble. It is near perfection in the world of marble. In fact, open any design magazine displaying a "to die for kitchen" and there it will be...stunningly beautiful.
But....then, we have to be realistic, dont we? And Calacatta Danby turns out to be extremely pricey and not really a good choice on the durability side when it comes to lakehouse living...dang it!!!!! I want it and it just doesnt look like I will get it. And if I am really honest with myself and listen to the practical designer inside my head, she is telling me I would be sorry later because marble would not hold up to the abuse my family and friends and I would heave on it. The simple tasks of cooking and mixing drinks would destroy the finish. A few drops of lemon or lime juice would take the finish off and olive oil or wine would leave permanent rings. So, why am I so upset....probably has nothing to do with the marble.
Sometimes, we set our minds on something and our knuckles turn white from holding on so tight. It turns our world upside down, makes us irritable with the ones we love and angry with ourselves when it appears it wont work out. (Like I said, it has nothing to do with marble. lol.) I am so frustrated right now with so many things! Nothing seems to be coming easy, everything is hard. The marble is just the straw that might break the camel's back.
I want it dang it! I know it's impractical and bloody expensive, but, dang it, can I not just have one thing that I want right now? Just one? That's my attitude today, nothing is the way I want it and everything is too hard and I have convinced myself that the marble will make everything better. That is, until a year from now when I hate it because there are rings all over the place and rough spots from the lemon juice. Then I will want to blame someone else for allowing me to have it(Sorry, Honey).
Uugghh, I dont want to be practical or conservative. I am always like that! Ask my family and friends, they will tell you...Kim is by the book! No waves, no wide turns....so predictable, so boring. I just wanted something different this time, something unreachable, something outside the box. NOT. I have chosen Giallo Ornamental....Beige, middle of the road in price. Typical and ordinary. I am so disappointed. But, what the hell, it's a countertop right?...or is it?
We are in full swing now, getting ready to open the shop sometime in May! I am so looking forward to sharing so many wonderful new things with all of you. Still looking for a few creative ladies to take the remaining spots, let me know if you are interested.
One of our new products is the new book by Rosanna Bowles, Coming Home-A Seasonal Guide to Creating Family Traditions. This is a lovely book full of beautiful photography and information for centering your life around family. Family meal ideas, family gathering ideas, decorating and table setting, travel and holiday planning. You'll love it! Look for it in the shop and for those of you who cant get by to see us, check out the website, it will be available soon!
Also new in the shop and available on the website soon...
Happy Shopping!
My husband says I'm a "fixer". A "fixer", what the heck is a "fixer"? When he said that to me the first time a few months ago, I thought he was out of his mind and I told him so. I said, "That's ridiculous, I am not a "fixer" whatever that is!". What I didn't tell him was that he knows me better than I know myself and if he says I am a "fixer" then I probably am, and I better start trying to figure out what that is!
After a few weeks, with this new classification of myself in my head, I began to see myself a little differently. I began to notice that I was doing this "fixer" thing without even thinking about it; while doing ten thousand other things! Every time one of my kids mentioned a problem at school or with a friend, I would immediately go into my "fixer-mode". My husband would mention something that happened at work and there I would go...see a problem, hand out a solution! OMG! I am so totally a "fixer"!!!! He was right!(again). The more conscious I became of my actions, the more I noticed that I was handing out solutions like Halloween candy!
The thing is...I like being a "fixer", it's a peacful place for me. I like order and I am most uncomfortable in caos. I think I subconsciously identify solutions quickly because I dont like living in the gray. It's not a comfy place for me. I see a problem as an opportunity for making something better and attempt to correct it as quickly as possible. This is my "comfy couch", my saving grace in a world of caos.
The problem with being a "fixer" is that not everyone sees things the way you do. Not everyone who appears to have a problem thinks it needs to be fixed. A situation that appears to be a "fixer upper" by my standards isn't always a "fixer upper" by someone else's. Some people like living in the "gray". Not me, I simply cannot live that way. When it comes to making decisions, I see things as black and white, no gray for me. I never have and I dont think I ever will.
The heartbreak comes for me when there are loved ones and acquaintences that I simply cannot fix. The ones whose lives seem burdened by caos, poverty and addictions. The ones whose lives seem overrun by making the same bad decisions over and over and over. The reality is that they simply do not want to be "fixed". They are simply comfortable in the gray and I am heartbroken. Help me Lord to leave the "fixin" to you.
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The Serenity Prayer
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God grant me the serenity Living one day at a time;
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Meet Rachel Ashwell, Mom, world renowned designer and shop owner....
Below is an article written by Rachel for High Point Market...awesome, so insightful, enjoy!
"To me this word "lifestyle" means an aesthetic and emotional expression of who we are and what holds value in our lives. For the past two decades, beauty, comfort and function have been the words I have used to describe the Shabby Chic ® brand philosophy on the meaning of lifestyle. Without all three of these functions I have a hard time styling my life. When I opened my first Shabby Chic ® brand store in California in 1989 it was with an innocent and authentic aesthetic of products for the home designed by myself or found vintage treasures. At the time I did not know the meaning of trends, floor sets, line lists, inventory flow or merchandising. I cautiously bought or designed what I loved with no agenda. My focus was simply to offer whimsical and romantic products with an heirloom quality, attention to detail, classic timelessness with an edge, and to tell a story through one-of-kind treasures and design. I also wanted to inspire my customers to find their own expression from the Shabby Chic ® brand store experience while over time staying true to my brand. It may not have satisfied all, but for those it did, they could rely upon me.
At first, I knew little of the home furnishing business. I knew there were interior designers for those who did not have the knowledge on where or how to create their own home. I also knew there were design centers that housed beautiful fabrics and furniture that were hard to obtain.
I recall at the time, I felt that most furniture stores offered safe and standard product. These products were easy come, easy go and never offered a shopping experience.
I do not pride myself with inventing the slipcover, nor machine-washable fabrics. I do pride myself with prioritizing and cultivating the shopping experience and with inspiring an industry of thinking outside the box of "sameness." This sameness was seemingly due to designers who wanted to play it safe with designs that were proven successes, inventory systems that couldn't handle "one offs," or manufacturers that were afraid of inconsistent wood finishes and dye lots.
As years have gone by I have pleasantly observed the likes of Restoration Hardware and Anthropologie making a commitment to providing customers with products that have depth of meaning. These retailers pride themselves on sharing stories "behind the scenes," taking risks on one-of-a-kind items and creating narratives with their merchandising. Shoppers deserve this shift: products taking on character and substance.
Online shopping serves a great need and niche, but cannot offer the same experience as an in-person shopping trip. When a person can experience magical products with quality customer service first hand, I believe they feel a great gratitude. The customers feel special because they feel they are taking home something special, and I do believe the experience resonates with a customer more than an online knockdown product purchase experience.
I believe people are re-evaluating their priorities and are no longer interested in disposable trends. While price is a concern, people are putting a value on soulful design. They want products they can pass onto their children. They don’t need endless newness for the sake of newness. They want quality and products that can layer into their existing pieces at home. People want to be inspired and educated so that they can find their own voice of design.
While there are murmurs the recession is over, I do not believe people will ever spend they way they used to. The lovely part of the aftermath of the recession is the humility that comes along. I believe the days of disposability and wanting to stand out are firmly in the past.
However, I do believe people want to identify with their homes and products in them. As stores are stepping up, customers understand the close connection of how their homes reflect their values more than in recent years. In connecting with my own customers, I have found their values to have a life of meaning, usefulness, originality, and beauty. The thinking that less is more has taken hold and I do believe mediocrity and sameness is losing its ground, making room for specialness. "
Fabulous, right? I have been a fan of Rachel's for many, many years. I have walked the floors of her store in Chicago; a dreamy wonderland, and walked side by side with her while in RoundTop, Texas at the Marburger Antique Show where she hand selects the most amazing antiques for her shops. She is inspiring and a great example to all of us...it all starts with a dream! Rachel's Simply Shabby Chic line is available in Target stores nationwide. Check it out...you will love it and knowing her alittle better makes it that much sweeter! Happy Shopping!
Scrumptious Bella Notte Linens...my absolute favorite!
This is an awesome example of how a little elbow grease and fabulous fabric can completely change the look of a chair or sofa or whatever you might have in the garage that needs alittle work. Give it a whirl!
Check this out! I love this woman and her blog...really, I love this blog!
www.cityfarmercooks.blogspot.com
I especially love the post called "Salad at Stoplights" and you will too, it's brilliant! I am always looking for a way to lose a few pounds and this woman is onto something! And...it's so good for you, I am definately going to get this going tomorrow and see if I cant get the "little blogger butt" that she says I can attain with "Salads at Stoplights"! Happy Eating!